


for you, i would ruin myself a million little times

by meganseverafter



Series: in the end, all our stories are folklore [5]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25567894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meganseverafter/pseuds/meganseverafter
Summary: And then, all the sudden, her entire world shifts. Everything changes from one moment to the next. Because one moment ago, she and the Doctor were walking along the streets of New Earth to some exponent or another while he explained the science behind flying cars and why humans in her time would never figure it out and then the next, he’s stopped mid-sentence. Stopped breathing even, as he stares down the street.
Relationships: The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Rose Tyler, Twelfth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Series: in the end, all our stories are folklore [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852807
Comments: 14
Kudos: 69





	for you, i would ruin myself a million little times

Clara should’ve known better really. But then again, how could she? He’s not her boyfriend, said so himself, and she knew that. But she’d thought, a few times, that maybe. Maybe. 

He’d been fit and cute and looked young and was a bit weird but you could almost forget he was an alien, before. It was so easy to pretend. To read into things he said and did. To believe she meant something more. 

Maybe she should’ve realized after coming out of his entire time stream that that’s what he does – makes everyone feel special and _more_ than they were before meeting him, but her memories have always been fuzzy about what happened when she met all of his past selves. She can’t help but wonder how many women, and likely men too, he’s left behind, questioning everything they did because of him. How many people has he let think had a chance before letting them down in the most socially awkward and harsh way possible?

And that’s the thing isn’t it? That even after his regeneration and harsh rejection, a simple phone call from his past self is enough to soothe her anger, to convince her to stick around for this new man who’s so visibly older than her. 

She knew, objectively, that he was old, far too old for her. But as Madame Vastra said, it was so much easier to pretend he wasn’t before. A mask, indeed. 

But it’s okay, really it is. If he needs a mirrorball, a person to find his gaps and fill them in, then that’s what she’ll be. Because she’s not ready to give him up. She’s not ready to give his way of life up. And she can’t leave him alone, not after promising his eleventh self she wouldn’t. 

And then, all the sudden, her entire world shifts. Everything changes from one moment to the next. Because one moment ago, she and the Doctor were walking along the streets of New Earth to some exponent or another while he explained the science behind flying cars and why humans in her time would never figure it out and then the next, he’s stopped mid-sentence. Stopped breathing even, as he stares down the street. 

At first she doesn’t know what he’s even looking at. She doesn’t even notice the woman until she hears her laugh, sitting at some café table across from a fit bloke tossing what looks to be a chip at his face. She doesn’t even get to ask who the woman is because by the time she’s looked back to the Doctor, he’s crossing the street with singleminded focus. She catches up to him just as he comes up behind the man and says “Rose” in the most reverent tone she’s heard outside a temple. 

“About time you showed up. Chip?” The woman looks entirely unsurprised to see him while the man whistles, “Wow, Rosie. I know you said he got old, but this is _proper_ old. Turn around, let’s see the bum”

Clara wants to defend him from this man but before she can even comment on how inappropriate that is, the Doctor responds in a teasing manner she’s not heard from this him before, “You still haven’t taken me on that date, Jack”

“Not for lack of trying.” The man, Jack, says before realizing Clara’s there and turning all his charm on her, “Jack Harkness, let me assure you, the pleasure is _all_ mine.”

“Oh don’t start.” The Doctor and Rose say in near perfect synchronization. 

“I’m Clara Oswald.” She smiles, kicking the chair the Doctor has taken claim of as he picks at Rose’s chips. 

“Oh! Right. Yes. Rose, Jack, this is Clara, my carer. She cares so I don’t have to. These two used to travel with me in my ninth and tenth lives” is the Doctor’s oh so graceful introduction, making Clara roll her eyes. 

“Sit down, Clara. Jack and I won’t bite.” Rose instructs, gesturing to the chair opposite the Doctor while Jack mutters “Speak for yourself…”

Everyone gets on well enough, Rose and Jack seem to be good people and they do their best to not make her feel like a fourth wheel, but the Doctor’s different with them. Less gruff, more half smiles. And by God, the _touching_. He’s never been one for physical affection in this body, she usually forces the hug and he’ll give in. He doesn’t often even lay his hand on her, but Jack gets shoulder pats – or smacks, depending on the context – and _Rose_. Rose is in an entirely different category. It takes about fifteen minutes of sitting at that table before she’s fairly certain they’re holding hands beneath the table. And then when they get up to do the shopping Rose and Jack had come out for, her theory is confirmed because they hold hands the whole way to the shop. No, instead she gets closer still, wrapping herself around his arm as if she has any right. 

Clara’s doing her best not to show her jealousy, almost trying to not even exist, but Jack’s still there, watching her reaction. 

When Rose drags the Doctor to go look at something or another, Jack turns to her and smiles with far too much pity for her liking, “They don’t realize they’re even doing it. Try not to take it personal.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine. It’s not like he’s my boyfriend or anything.” She’s overplaying the nonchalance, and she knows it’s no good. 

“Clara.”

Clara throws the shirt she was looking at back down on the shelf, turning back to Jack,“What do you want me to say, Jack? That I’m hurt? That I feel like an idiotic fool that’s spent herself on a man who couldn’t even tell me that he’d never be able to give me his hearts because he already gave them away? That I inadvertently made myself the other woman, second to a woman who should by all counts be _dead_ by now?” 

Jack doesn’t say a word, merely pulling her in for a hug because the lord knows the Doctor would never think to offer the comfort to someone besides Rose and quite honestly, he’s the last person she needs comfort from anyway. Jack manages to divert Rose without the Doctor noticing his companion’s distress, which is a blessing and a bleeding curse. After a few moments, she excuses herself back to the TARDIS, claiming she just wants to be alone, and Jack can’t blame her. 

As she walks away her head down to hide her tears, Jack looks back over at Rose and the Doctor, laughing about something or another just like always. He knew it’d always come back to this, but he feels bad for Clara. He ought to tell Rose so she can talk some sense into the Doctor.


End file.
